Forgot My Earrings

It was one of those mornings where I had to be at work earlier than my usual starting time.  I was buzzing around completing my morning routine and made it to work on time!  Woo hoo!  Good Cindy.  About an hour into my day I realized, to my horror, that I'd neglected to put on earrings.  

Now, for you gals with long, flowing tresses, this is a non-issue.  But for those of us with short, post-chemo hair (I drop the "cancer card" any time it's advantageous!) this ranks right up there with forgetting to brush your teeth.  Most people wouldn't notice but it drives you crazy...all.day.long!  

And, to top it all off, I had an interview that morning for a new position at the place where I already work...a promotion, if you will, so this was a BIG deal!  

I completed the interview and made it to the "second round" despite my naked ears.  

However, I have two thoughts brewing in my brain about this whole earring error.  

First thought:  If I don't get the job, it'll be because I FORGOT TO WEAR EARRINGS.  Plain and simple.  THAT will be the reason.  

Ridiculous, you say?  Of course it is!  We all know if I don't get the job, someone better qualified fit the match, but in MY head, it will be because I forgot my earrings (and she probably wore hers!).  

See how we are?  We want to place blame where it doesn't belong.  We become irrational, even ridiculous, okay, plain stupid sometimes because we want to blame someone or something else rather than just owning it ourselves.  

Second thought:  Forgetting one's earrings is not an earth-shattering, time-stopping life event.  But I sorta made it that, even if only in my head.  How easy it is to make mountains out of molehills.  Little things are simply that...little things.  

There's a whole lot more to me than my earrings and I would venture to say NO ONE at that interview even noticed that I wasn't wearing any.  

So the lessons here are: 

        Own your mistakes.  

             Don't blame others.  

                                            Little things are little things.  

And finally...                          

        Always wear earrings

Cleaning Up the Kids' Messes

When our kids were little it seemed all we did was clean up one mess after another.  Spilled beverages at the dinner table...cluttered bedrooms...stained shirts...broken toys.  Always something.  

As they got older, the messes we had to clean up weren’t nearly as frequent but often a bit more challenging and time consuming.   Out past curfew...strained relationships...grades...driving...dating.  

They became adults...left home...got married...had children.  Our days of cleaning up messes were over.  

Think again, oh parents of three and grandparents of six.  

Tonight we found ourselves in one of those “Mom, Dad, I need your help” kind of deals.  It was a mess.  Somebody needed to intervene and clean it up.  We were GLAD she called.  We did what was necessary without hesitation.  We’ve learned that when there’s a mess, SOMEBODY needs to clean it up and if WE need to be those somebodies, so be it.  

We thought it might be a bigger mess than it really was but we were prepared.  We prayed.  Others prayed.  And one little mother thousands of miles from her precious son had to trust the unseen hands of her heavenly Father and the tried and tested hands of her momma and daddy.  HE did not fail her.  WE did not fail her.  

We wish there weren’t messes but we all make them...no matter how old we are.  And sometimes we can’t clean up our own messes.  

So...that’s what God does for us.  That’s what we do for our kids. 

Remind but not Define

Dear BC,

Well, they cut you out of me and my doctor called and said they got ALL of you!  Woohoo!

I look at my scars and they do not remind me of what you took from me, but what I have left!  I have life.  I have peace.  I have joy.  I have family.  I have faith.  I have friends.  I am blessed.

While your scars will always remind me, they will never define me.

I am far more than a breast cancer survivor.

I am a daughter of the King.  I am the wife of a wonderful man.  I am the mother of three fabulous kids.  I am the grandmother of six precious little children.  I am a sister, an aunt, a daughter, a friend, a coworker, and a tough, sassy, inspired, determined, and truly grateful woman.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

Yep, me-n-Jesus...we got this!

/ch
3.23.2012

More Than Coincidence

'God-signs' are appearing everywhere in the most recent path I have been chosen to travel. Receiving the news that a mastectomy is the recommended solution to the cancer in my left breast (henceforth referred to as LB), left me feeling shocked, numb, and overwhelmed. Had a lot of information thrown our way. But, as I was reading/journaling/praying this morning, it occurred to me that God is right where He's always been and I have a hunch I'm gonna see more of these 'MORE THAN COINCIDENCE' things happen in my life. Hence, I blog, maybe to encourage you but to help me when I tend to flounder in feelings of fear.

IT IS MORE THAN COINCIDENCE...

*That several years ago God prompted my husband to send a gift card to his parent's primary care physician as a gesture of appreciation for the care and concern she gives them.

*That this SAME doctor, upon learning that we were moving back to the area, asked me to send her my resume STAT, leading to my hiring as a Patient Service Rep for the Cleveland Clinic

*That we have wonderful health insurance and that the week prior to my diagnosis, I completed my 90-days and am an 'official' employee

*That I was placed in the Dermatology & Plastic Surgery Departments when I was first hired by the Clinic and worked there for about 5 weeks before being transferred to ENT

*That on Tuesday 2.14.2012, after learning I'd need a mastectomy, Dr Ray Isakov 'just happened' to be at our facility and had an opening in his schedule to meet and talk with us about reconstruction (he's only there 1.5 days a week & it just so happened...)

*That my surgery date is 3.19.2012, which means I will be able to attend the MVNU Women's Auxiliary Spring Conference the weekend before (which is kinda important to me since I'm the president of the organization)!

*That at work last Thursday, as I was registering a patient, I complimented her on her hair cut and color and told her how cute she looked.  She smiled and informed me it was a WIG and she's a cancer patient!  We briefly swapped stories and she gave me the name of her wig place!  Coincidence...I say NAY NAY!  :)

STAY TUNED...I'M SURE THERE'S MORE TO COME

Beating Breast Cancer

Dear Breast Cancer,

It looks like we are beginning a new relationship, one YOU clearly initiated.

I want you to know right from the start that this is not permanent. I WILL break up with you. You are a bump in the road, not a death sentence.

You may hurt me but I will heal.

You may make me cry but I will not quit.

You may change my health but not my heart.

You may have caught ME by surprise, but NOT my Father.

He was way ahead of you, putting things together to make this journey smoother than you intend it to be.

You may bruise me but you will not beat me.

I am not afraid. I am at peace.

Bet you can't figure THAT one out...

Cindy

Pampering Problems

So today "Jesus Calling" hits me right between the eyes...AGAIN!

When your mind goes into neutral and your thoughts flow freely, you tend to feel anxious and alone. Your focus becomes problem-solving.

H...E...L...L...O!!! Been there...am there...doing that!

The solution is to choose to practice My presence.

I've been pampering my problems.

Today I will practice rather than pamper.

W...I...L...T...I...N...G...

Many days I feel like I am wilting where I'm planted.

All I can smell is fertilizer rather than the flower...the dung instead of the daffodil...the crap instead of the chrysanthemum...you get the idea!

A dear friend sent me a copy of "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. It's written as if Jesus himself were actually speaking the words directly to you, and most days I find it right on!

Two days ago it spoke about swimming upstream against the current of [God's] purposes. Yesterday talked about letting circumstances toss you this way and that.

Why is it so hard to trust when you grow up? I don't remember having trust issues as a kid. Now I have them all the time.